So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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