whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
