this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
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DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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