Whod you bang
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize