I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
