im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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