I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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