I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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