Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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