Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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