just come out here and I will go home with you...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
