Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.

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  (717): No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon. http://tfl.nu/gt7r
  Replies (43) Good night (871) Bad night (3973)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

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  (516): She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass http://tfl.nu/tdnt
  Replies (18) Good night (7245) Bad night (1288)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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  (404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k
  Replies (27) Good night (3394) Bad night (5193)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1236) Bad night (4178)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1500) Bad night (965)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.

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  (608): hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink. http://tfl.nu/2o9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (484)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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  (812): and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out http://tfl.nu/6hen
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (572)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  you have got to get your shit together

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  (910): dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days (1-910): you have got to get your shit together http://tfl.nu/bju9
  Replies (11) Good night (472) Bad night (1494)
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  (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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  (209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo
  Replies (3) Good night (1880) Bad night (441)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship

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  (608): Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship http://tfl.nu/u2r6
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (300)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.

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  (917): i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/wmdi
  Replies (11) Good night (930) Bad night (333)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"

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  (330): WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader" http://tfl.nu/kbtf
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (331)
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  (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

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  (310): Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on http://tfl.nu/xhhi
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (456)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.

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  (816): Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire. http://tfl.nu/gpak
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (555)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

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  (413): dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME. http://tfl.nu/zc45
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (301)

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