last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Who died my cat blue again?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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