who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.