Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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(219): I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate? http://tfl.nu/53jf

Replies (15) Good night (5872) Bad night (978)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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(604): And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life. http://tfl.nu/s6zp

Replies (16) Good night (703) Bad night (4222)
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(912): View more from Georgia

you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

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(912): you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right? http://tfl.nu/mqjb

Replies (19) Good night (2306) Bad night (6367)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.

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(678): Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too. http://tfl.nu/ijhr

Replies (45) Good night (7805) Bad night (1155)
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(310): View more from California

A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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(310): A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. http://tfl.nu/d1e6

Replies (111) Good night (10079) Bad night (1949)
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(817): View more from Texas

look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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(817): look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now. http://tfl.nu/dr20

Replies (14) Good night (3974) Bad night (1472)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it

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(201): I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it http://tfl.nu/a65q

Replies (16) Good night (4022) Bad night (1138)
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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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(904): she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room... http://tfl.nu/wehm

Replies (8) Good night (3268) Bad night (1259)
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(253): View more from Washington

The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.

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(253): The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore. http://tfl.nu/j34l

Replies (8) Good night (1106) Bad night (3499)
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(443): View more from Maryland

this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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(443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz

Replies (23) Good night (6134) Bad night (1635)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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(780): So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned". http://tfl.nu/rmju

Replies (36) Good night (5084) Bad night (1292)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.

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(740): I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of. http://tfl.nu/s19w

Replies (8) Good night (1457) Bad night (721)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.

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(856): Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox. http://tfl.nu/almc

Replies (18) Good night (2090) Bad night (809)
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(251): View more from Alabama

You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.

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(251): You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick. http://tfl.nu/r3wg

Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (477)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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(484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl

Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (564)

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