I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.