i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?