I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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