wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
