She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
