I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize