is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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