I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
