the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
