your thong is hanging out like whoa
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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