Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
