what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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