They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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