so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
