she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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