beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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