I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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