; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
