Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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