dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
