on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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