I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
