god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
