Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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