she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He did a backflip because drugs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
