I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
