i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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