I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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