does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
