if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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