Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
