first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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