i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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