I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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