Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
