I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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