Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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