I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
