I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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