need another drink. this is the easiest way
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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