there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
