NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
