Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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