He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
