i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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