..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
