so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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