and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
