Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
