so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
