so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
