I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
